COVID Took My Dad

COVID took my dad after 2 months in the hospital. Although only 56, he checked the COVID boxes - essential worker, Latino, male, diabetes. But to quote a favorite movie of ours, the Sandlot, "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die". My dad is a legend.

He is a low-rider, cholo version of Ron Swanson mixed w/ Jack Black. He had us laughing til the end texting, "I guess the party's over. God is calling his #1 draft pick to take care of Trump and his cronies. I got angels, saints, & gangstas waiting for me”

He was so beloved as a Longshoreman that the whole Port of LA lifted and lit up all the cranes as a tribute to him the day he died. His coworkers raised $75K in a GoFundMe for the fam in 3 days.

We had nothing left unsaid. I could tell him everything. In college tripping on a pot brownie, I called him when I was afraid. He laughed saying, "My baby is triiiipin”

My dad taught me what it meant to be authentic. He never hid his faults & never judged anyone for theirs.

We had a rough childhood when he struggled with drugs/alcohol. He had to move through his own challenges from growing up in the hood. But we healed our relationship. He taught me that everyone is deserving of love, forgiveness, and redemption.

He instilled his wisdom, telling me,

"The hardest thing in the world to do is like yourself. But once you can like yourself, you can love yourself. And once you can love yourself, ain't nobody can touch you."

My dad explained things better than anyone. When I talked to him about love

Me: How do you know if you are in love?
Dad: Would you wash his dirty caca-stained underwear?
Me: Eww no
Dad: Then you ain't in love.

When he couldn't come to my wedding in Mexico, we did a courthouse ceremony. In 48 hours, he planned a reception w/ a dance floor & his band. He walked me down the tiny court aisle & we performed a song together at the reception.

He never wanted us to fear death. We are holding up well because he always talked about his own death so casually. He always said, "I could be hit by a bus tomorrow” and lived everyday to the fullest.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to honor my dad’s memory. I want to create a documentary film about him. I started oil painting portraits of him. I even want to start a line of greeting cards I’ll call “Heartfelt Homeboy Cards” with quotes from my dad.