One year since leaving the Bay Area

What I've learned in my journey to Mexico & self-employment

I said goodbye to my life in the Bay Area after 11 years exactly one year ago.

I was finally adulting with a 401K and a West Elm couch, but life was stagnant. My quarter-life crisis hit, “Is this it? Do I just work every day, calendar in friends weeks in advance, then have kids, then retire?” As hard as it was to leave my job, I was more terrified of drifting unconsciously into a stale life. I imagined my life being like driving, arriving at my destination and not remembering how I got there.

Moving to Mexico was a recipe in the works for a decade, with 1:1 equal parts dream and life strategy. It was part of my sensible Millennial plan to save money for a house, pay down student loans, and start my own business without the pressure of replacing my full income.

Every new year, Tiago and I go through visioning and goal setting exercises. In Jan. 2018, we decided to move to Mexico when our lease ended in September. When you make a decision with a due date, you start changing behaviors to be aligned with that decision. We stopped buying things we couldn’t pack. At work, I started meticulously documenting everything I do, so a successor could easily be on-boarded.

We spent 3.5 months living out of a suitcase between LA, Mexico, & Brazil. By mid-January, we finally settled into an apartment in the colorful, enchanting, tree-lined barrio of Roma Sur where the movie Roma was filmed.

The first few months were filled with novelty and creative freedom, no longer having my calendar occupied by other people’s meetings. Instead of $16 San Francisco salads, I was now eating a $3 lunch with sopa, ensalada, and a plato fuerte. Imagine sleeping in, meditating and yoga before sitting down to work. We had a magical week-long wedding celebration in Mexico, which included a talent show and plenty of boat rides. Almost weekly someone is passing through Mexico City, and I get to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. Working fully remote, I’ve been able to travel to LA, the Bay, Toronto, Santa Barbara, Miami, Brazil, Oaxaca, Narayrit, San Miguel, Pubela, Las Vegas, Miami and New York. Within a short flight, I can be with my family for weddings, reunions, and big birthday bashes. Weekends are spent uncovering Mexico’s secrets, museums, and eating award-winning meals.

But after the honeymoon phase, I confronted the struggle of working independently. My days swelled between Forte Labs projects and Win A Fulbright, but I felt insignificant like I was occupying very little space in the world. I realized my previous job dictated how much I felt like I mattered.

I need to be needed.

I was working my butt off creating content and feeling defeated. It wasn’t that I loved my previous work more than my current work, but previously I knew what I was doing and my work was recognized.

I continuously took habitual actions to emerge through the thick murky waters. I meditated regularly and became the healthiest I’ve ever been. I went from working out once per quarter to five times a week. What I lacked in clarity, I gained in time. I had time to explore all my curiosities and build community taking oil painting classes and volunteering for an art organization. I joined an online women’s empowerment course Own Your Magic, all about tuning into your intuition and moving through challenging spaces with the support of powerful women. I opened to the possibilities in front of me. Out of pure randomness, I got introduced to the perfect client who needed support developing an online course in the affordable housing space, where I can now combine my disjointed interests and skill set.

And now after a year, I’m finally getting a sense of what I want and where I want my life to go. This year has been all about exploring my creativity and putting my name out there. I’m actively practicing being seen and not hiding behind an organization, but letting my work and voice stand on its own. I’m learning how to maintain community no matter what part of the world I am in.

I can’t wrap this post up in a pretty bow, because I’m still in the midst of figuring out my life. But at least I am moving in some direction. I’m constantly bumping up against my own self-imposed limits, re-calibrating what I am capable of, and being reminded of the amazing privilege I have to be defining my life path.